Amsterdam 10/03/08

Greetings from the nether regions. Cafeteria Dance Fever just rocked the OCCII club. For our wooden shoe wearing fans, we played the Dutch national anthem, “They’re Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-Haa.” The other bands on the bill (Autorace, Downdime and our tourmates Hey Lover) were all super swell! Good fun all around.

A lot has happened since my last dispatch from the glitter-strewn road that is Cafeteria Dance Fever’s pathological path across the great Northwest of Europe. While we slept in the Herning, DK venue after our show there, racist skinheads were banging on the door and throwing rocks and stuff at the building. We took a ferryboat to Sweden and there was a guy who was REALLY into mayonnaise, and later he was in a big brawl on the top deck. Then we went to Norway and played for about three customers at Cafe Mono and were paid like 500 bucks. American rock clubs take note: this is how Cafeteria Dance Fever expects to be treated now. We played four shows in three nights in Berlin. We’ve met a lot of great people. Our touring party has partied into the most ungodly hours most nights, with the exception of myself. I’m such a staid human; I’m not even into search parties, or interested parties. And I’d need to be demented and dis-willed to drink anything fermented or distilled.

On the road, we’ve been listening to the incredible not-yet-released new album by a certain Portland group. We’ve sworn not to leak any of the tracks outside our tour van, and I won’t divulge the name of the band, but you might have a hunch who it is.

We’ve had minimal access to the internet, hence the tragic scarcity of important information about the CDF tour on LocalCut.com. We also haven’t had a lot of time for sightseeing, but we went to many of the grandest European tourist attractions: 7-11, H&M, the restrooms at Burger King and McDonalds, and a plethora of gas stations. Last night I broke into the Dutch Museum of Decaying, Infected Tumors after closing time. It was like an all-you-can-eat buffet! Okay, now I’m just making stuff up.

We’ve got two shows left, but I think Cafeteria Dance Fever is ready to go home right now. The toy piano doesn’t have any keys left. The kick drum, and the faces of Mark and Tim, are all torn to shreds. I bought something called ZwartWitjes, which is ostensibly candy, as the first ingredient is suiker, but it tastes like a Dutch torture device for the taste buds.

If I survive these last two shows, I’ll see you in Portland. Hey Lover is too cool to write a blog, but they say Hi.

Yours in sickness and depravity,
-Cain

Links:
Cafeteria Dance FeverSpace
Hey LoverSpace

All photos by CDF and Hey Lover