Miss Massive Snowflake
Queen’s Headache European Tour
March 27, 2008
Kaiserslautern, Germany

Miss Massive Snowflake has been in Europe for two weeks now. The first week we spent at my brother Shadd’s house here in Kaiserslautern. We took a day trip to Burg Eltz, a beautiful 900 year-old castle hidden in a cul-de-sac like valley, where my family/band relaxed, ate lunch, took pictures, and played soccer. We visited Koblenz where the confluence of the Mosel and the Rhine meet at a statue of William the I of Germany riding on his steed. We gazed over this triangular vista from the impenetrable fortress, Festung Ehrenbreitstein, and sang, danced, laughed, and shielded ourselves from the cold wind that attacked from the rivers below. Meredith (my wife), Marley (my twelve year-old daughter), and I ate leber-knödel in Gimmeldingen whilst drinking a Riesling from the local vineyards in the rain during a feast celebrating the blossoms on the almond trees which turn the rolling hills a beautiful pink color. The food here has been excellent, the conversation stimulating, the beer and wine uplifting, and the love of music and family has been life affirming.

Miss Massive Snowflake is my musical/familial art project. I write the songs and then recruit different family members for different recordings and tours. We have just released our fourth release titled Queen’s Headache. It is an electro-acoustic romp that denounces war and isolation in favor of love and family. The music ranges from hip-hop inspired by my kindergarten class (my day job is as a preschool teacher), to orchestrated pseudo-classical instrumentals and love-tinged R&B sing-alongs. Check it out!

Miss Massive Snowflake is on its second European tour and we have played two shows on this jaunt so far. Our first show was at Club Lice, a small house party type show here in Kaiserslautern. On this tour I am using an acoustic guitar, laptop, projector, and various family members help out on certain songs with lyrics, percussion, and keyboards. Since this was a small show I hooked the computer up directly to a television and performed solo playing a mix of acoustic songs and karaoke style prerecorded tracks. The visuals are a mix of movies that Marley has made, as well as slideshows and films that I have assembled of my artwork, photos, and video clips. Everything went well and the audience even joined into the sing-along in their Germanic accented broken English. Some t-shirts and CDs were sold and friends were made and duly impressed.

Meredith, Marley, and I then rented a VW Golf and Garman Navigational unit and headed off to Vienna in a blinding snowstorm (Massive Snowflakes). Some tense moments arose but I must admit that I enjoy driving 100 miles an hour when I know that I won’t be pulled over for speeding. We arrived and received the keys to our Austrian booking agent Wolfgang’s flat. We were lucky enough to be near the city center and spent the next three days walking around looking at the remnants and memorials of the Hapsburg’s long rule. We enjoyed a small orchestra playing the hits of Mozart and Strauss, saw original art by Austrian Masters’ Klimt, Wacker, and Schiele as well as an exhibition at the Museum of Modern Art on math in art featuring works from Dürer to Sol Le Witt.

Miss Massive Snowflake’s Vienna show was at Fluc, a small smoky bar with an excellent soundman named Fred. The sound check was thorough and the Chinese meal was an all-you-can-eat buffet. Be on the lookout for the new MMS song mentioning three Americans eating Chinese buffet in Austria. This wonderfully beautiful and neutral country is one of the last bastions of unencumbered and blatant smoking. It seems that everyone over 12 is constantly puffing in bars, restaurants, palaces, and museums. Marley wore a scarf over her face while she performed and I nearly lost my voice by the end of the 50-minute set. The people clapped, laughed, and seemed to enjoy themselves. Once again we sold some merchandise, collected our guarantee and got the hell out of that smoke filled room. The next morning we woke up early and headed back to Kaiserslautern through many snow flurries and even more traffic.

Now I am back in Kaiserslautern at the Lice Club with lice killing shampoo slathered all over my head. The whole freaking band got hit by Austrian lice and there are five people in underwear in a small bathroom nitpicking through each other’s hair. Saskia has hair to her butt and it took us five hours to feel sufficiently free of this dreaded parasite.

Earlier today I practiced with my nephew Sören (12) and niece Saskia (10) on drums and keyboards, respectively. Watch the short video attached for some film clips, slideshows, and a live recording from the Lice Club. Tomorrow at 7:30 am I board the train to Dresden for a show at AZ Conni with Lack from Denmark. Thanks for reading, thanks for caring, and check back in a few days for more writings from Europe. Miss Massive Snowflake is over and out.

Goose in Vienna

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Photo courtesy of Miss Massive Snowflake