UPDATE: WW’s Layne Stratton gets the $50 bucks. Her variation on bread pudding, banana bread pudding (pictured below), may not be a pie, but it is the most delicious thing in human history. Thanks, Layne!

I was handed the most curious and drool-inducing flier at last week’s WW Best of Portland party. It grabbed my attention through use of the two greatest words in the English language:

“Free” and “Pie.”

When WW freelancer AP Kryza helped me track down the source of the handbill, Emily Weston of Great Magnet Recording, I had plenty of questions for her. Homemade pie? Yes, it says that on the flier. What kind of pie? Depends, but Weston says she will consider requests. Homemade Pie? Yes, I just asked that. Pie? Really? Yes, Weston says, she just made a Strawberry Rhubarb the other day. Musicians ate it warm and fresh out the oven.

So look, I don’t play any instruments or anything, but I’m thinking of recording an album. It’s called Free Motherfuckin’ Pie. Release date TBA.

AP Kryza wrote a piece on the Westons and their porch parties back in June, but it didn’t mention pie. I would have remembered that.

And now, Casey Jarman’s top 5 favorite pies:

1. Banana Cream Pie—Sure, it’s more akin to a puddin’ when you get right down to it, but throw some whipped cream on that shit and I will eat it all day. Portland artist(s) that is most like banana cream pie: Liv Warfield, because she’s so smooth and rich.

2. Apple Pie—Only if it has a crumble (or really sugary lattice-top) crust. Bonus props if it tastes like cinnamon. Really gooey cinnamon. Portland artist(s) that is most like apple pie: Western Aerial, who do All-American bar rock.

3. Strawberry Rhubarb Pie—Sweet and tangy? I’m sold. Portland artist(s) that is most like strawberry rhubarb pie: Pete Krebs, cause dude does it all.

4. Cherry Pie—Man, I didn’t even like cherry pie for the longest time, but then I had it with the crumble crust and it blew my mind. Does that technically make it a crumble? That crumble stuff is incredible. Portland artist(s) that is most like a cherry pie: You know it’s Storm Large. I mean, c’mon.

5. Tie: Lemon Meringue Pie and Key Lime Pie—I’d rate these pies higher, but you never know when you’re gonna eat some way-too-sweet, busted ass lemon or lime flavored pie. Anyone who’s ever trusted Betty Crocker for a good Key Lime knows exactly what I mean. Portland artist(s) that is most like a lemon meringue/key lime pie: I don’t know, probably Pink Martini.

WORST PIE EVER: Peach Pie—Only perverts eat peach pie. Portland artist(s) that is most like a peach pie: Wombstretcha the Magnificent.

Links:
Cake vs. Pie: The final conflict
Government Productions

Images: Pie picture courtesy of Whole Foods, who has the recipie for a rhubarb cream pie (!) here. Other flier courtesy of Emily.

P.S. I also enjoy pumpkin pie, blackberry pie, any creamy/chocolatey pies, and bread pudding, which is not a pie. Fifty bucks to the first person who makes me bread pudding pie.