What better way to lead into Wombstretcha the Magnificent’s response to last week’s Band Name of the Week post than with Sauce Policy, a band that implies on its MySpace that its music has the power to impregnate (their catch-phrase reads, “I saw Sauce Policy, now I’m pregnant…”). Ever since I first saw the band name Sauce Policy, I’ve been curious as to whether my theory about the name is correct. You see, as a long-time food service worker, I’ve been in the position to enforce a few sauce policies in my day; for instance, as an employee of Jimmie John’s Gourmet Sandwiches in Chicago, part of my job was charging customers an extra 10 cents for additional packets of mayo or mustard. This, in my mind, is a true “sauce policy.” But judging by that MySpace tag (and perhaps influenced by the fact that I’ve got womb stretching on the brain), I’ve got a feeling this heavily funk-influenced jammy quartet is thinking of a different kind of “sauce.” Hopefully we’ll find out next week when Sauce Policy replies to its Band Name of the Week call.

Now, onto an explanation from Wombstretcha the Magnificent, whose BNotW title brought on the largest number of BNotW comments yet (however, most of those comments seemed to be from the crew itself and people they know). Here’s what he had to say for himself and his crew:

Ad-hoc examination of our group’s title yields a plethora of interesting results, mostly limited to representation (literal and metaphorical) of our abilities to expand the area of space inhabited by any given uterin passageway in a manner that is of most magnificence. Plus, we spell “Wombstretcha” with an “a” because we’re “loc’d out ghetto-ass muthafuckas.”

Regarding the meaning of our lyrical content, it is important to look beyond immediate impression.” For instance, “Shake It (Like a Baby)” is far from an ass-shaking strip club summer jam. Rather, it is analogous to neo-feminist Andrea Dworkin’s assertion that fornication between a heterosexual couple living under patriarchal government is, by proxy, unconsensual, and thus, immoral. The modern feminist must “shake” the burden of childbirth from their stigma in order to thrive in a male-driven society before she is able to independently approach her life as a modern woman.

Further, not all of our music is anti-child (in fact, only “Baby Steps,”
“Soundproof Van,” and “Shake It” are anti-child in theme). Tracks like
“Hidden Stache,” “Face Full of Cunt,” and “Senior Dis Count” embrace the multitude of ideological references that are addressed in Wombstretcha’s work. The line, “Bitin’ more bush than a Ministry sample” (FFOC) is political, while “You smell like ointment and chalk” (SDC) is aesthetic.

Stretchin’ wombs and takin’ names and shit. Word.

We would like to conclude our response to localcut.com’s BNotW mention with the following sentiment: Although Wombstretcha the Magnificent appreciates the honor and prestige that is associated with winning BNotW for 12/20/06, and although Statutory Ray has checked out your MySpace with lube-in-hand, the fact of the matter remains; Wombstretcha don’t need you. Wombstretcha
don’t need anybody.

Well, there you have it. Maybe I’m alone here, but I think I kind of love these guys now. Thanks, Wombstretcha.

The Sauce Policy hosts an open mic tonight (Wednesday, Dec. 27) at the 45th Street Pub. 9 pm. Free. 21+.

www.myspace.com/thesaucepolicy
Photo: a suitably sexy silhouette–no, that’s not a stretchin’ womb; it’s a big, beautiful boo-tay–from the Sauce Policy’s MySpace (which appears to have something to do with a past show at the Fez Ballroom).